Here Without You
by Gardenia1786
Summary: Based on the song Here Without You by 3 Doors Down. Just a little look into Jessie and Katie's lives after they've gone their separate ways.
1. Chapter 1

Fic: Here Without You (1/6)

Author: Gardenia1786

Rating: PG-13

Summery: Based on the song "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down. Just a little look into Jessie and Katie's lives after they've gone their separate ways.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, or the song. The amazing and beautiful Jessie and Katie belong to the evil ABC who cancelled our beloved Once and Again nearly 5 years ago, and the song is property of 3 Doors Down and whatever company owns them.

Author's note: I absolutely love this song, in my opinion it's one of the best ever. The other day I thought it would be cool if I wrote a fic to it, so here it is! I hope it isn't too bad!

Feedback: Please? Pleeeeeeaaaaassssseeee? Feedback is such a wonderful thing. It lets me know that people actually read it, and if they like it or not. So please let me know. Even if you don't like it. But especially if you do! As Heather used to say: feedback love more (or something like that)

Once again, totally un-beta'd, sorry 'bout that.

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_A hundred days have made me older_

_Since the last time that I saw you're pretty face_

Katie looked out the window of her car at the passing corn as she drove down the small two-lane country road. She'd been on the road for, what, four hours now? It was getting long and _very_ old. Cows and corn, cows and corn… oh look. A tree.

"Jeez, these people really need to get some new scenery." she said to the air as she relaxed into the driver's seat.

_Only 10 more hours to go, then I'll be there... great,_ she thought to herself. She dropped her hand to the bottom of the steering wheel and held on to it with a loose grip. In the attempt to get more comfortable, she moved her other arm, resting her elbow on the armrest positioned on the door before leaning her head against her palm.

As she pulled the visor down to block the setting sun, out fell a picture. She picked it up from her lap and glanced at it while still driving. It was a picture of her and... Jessie. She stared at her own face. It was as she was looking into a mirror, only she was so much younger... and happier. They were sitting on a wooden swing and Katie had her arm around Jessie. Jessie had her arm around Katie's waist and had laid her head on Katie's shoulder. It was a candid shot, they were watching something in the distance, both laughing at whatever it was. Katie couldn't remember. She quickly stuffed the picture away, she didn't want to think about this now.

"Home." She said to no one in particular. She was trying to remember the last time that she had been home. It must have been a couple of years at the very least. She wasn't particularly looking forward to it, home was never somewhere she liked to be. She never really felt at home when she was there. No, there was only one person in her entire life that had actually made her feel safe and at home... Jessie... but she didn't want to dwell on that now, she didn't want to dredge up those memories.

_A thousand lies have made me colder_

_And I don't think I can look at this the same_

"No! I don't care! I told you I want it now, and now is when I want it! Understand?!?" Jessie said quite loudly into her cell phone before slamming it shut. _How many times do I have to tell them?_ she thought to herself. _When I say want it now, I want it NOW_.

Needless to say, Jessie was not the same person she was those 10+ years ago. She hadn't changed much on the outside, she was still petite and beautiful. She still had those beautiful blue eyes, and though she may be small, everyone knew that she was not a force to be reckoned with. She was older, and much colder. The world had chewed her up and spit her out. She had become hard, almost ruthless. She was a businesswoman, but more than that she was a lawyer, and she let everyone know it.

Work was her life. She didn't leave time for a social life, for love, or anything like that. She didn't want to get hurt again, so she shut everyone out of her world. She'd lost the love of her life, and that by itself had made her cold and distant, from everyone and everything.

_But all the miles that separate,_

_They disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face._

Katie had had enough for one day, it was late, she had gotten held up in traffic, and she was way behind schedule. She pulled over on the side of the road, turned off the car, made sure the doors were locked, and curled up in a semi-comfortable position, after leaning the seat back a bit. Her mind drifted from subject to subject, from people, places, and things. It rambled on, much as she tended to do, not letting her relax enough to get any sleep.

Katie was getting a bit frustrated with it, trying to concentrate on something peaceful, but couldn't really come up with anything. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again she saw someone standing before her. It took her a split second to figure out who it was.

Jessie.

She was standing in front of her, the same beautiful girl that she had fallen in love with years ago, only older. Not a girl any longer, but a woman now. She didn't look much different, her blond hair a little longer than she remembered, falling just slightly above her shoulder blades, still crimped. Her blue eyes shining, and her perfect lips turned up in a smile, showing off her unusually white teeth.

_The years had been good to her,_ Katie thought. Her first instincts were for her to run over and grab her, to hold her and kiss her, but she was unsure how to act, and how Jessie would respond. She looked down at her feet.

_It's a dream,_ she told herself. _There's no way that she's here, I'm over four hundred miles away._ She looked up at Jessie again, who was still standing there smiling, looking right at her.

_Damn it, dream or not, I'm making the best of it._ She made use of her legs and walked over to her, stopping right in front of her. She pulled Jessie into a close hug, whispering in her ear,

"I've missed you so much." Katie breathed before Jessie pulled back, brushed the hair out of Katie's eyes and peered into them thoughtfully. Jessie rested her hand on the other girl's cheek.

"I've missed you too." Jessie paused, "And after all these years, I still know one thing." Katie gazed intently into Jessie's eyes.

"What's that?" Katie questioned while Jessie only grinned.

"I still love you." And with that she closed the distance between their lips.

_I'm here without you baby,_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

Jessie sat in her posh office; after all, being one of the firm's highest-ranking lawyers had to get her something besides a stick up her ass. She had just finished the preliminaries for one of her wealthiest clients when she leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.

_A little break couldn't hurt,_ she thought to herself. Her mind wandered. She paused to wonder how everyone was doing back home, and how much she actually missed them. Grace especially. She was still surprised how good of friends they turned out, after all, Grace was a huge help while she was figuring out what to do about Katie. Her eyes flew open when she thought that name.

"Oh my god," she said aloud. "Katie." _Why am I thinking about her? I never think about her,_ she lied to herself. In truth, there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think about Katie, or miss her, though she tried to deny it. Every once in a blue moon, she would pull out the old, slightly tattered shoe box that she hid under her bed, and look thru it's contents. It held her most prized possessions. Pictures of her and Katie, the first gardenia that Katie bought her, most of the notes Katie wrote her, always addressed to 'Billie', and finally, the most important of all, the letter that Katie wrote to her, the one that was responsible for the misunderstanding in her room, and ultimately the kiss that brought them together. When she promised that she would never throw it away, she meant it.

_I think about you baby,_

_And I dream about you all the time_

Katie's dreams that night were littered with Jessie, she couldn't quite seem to get her out of them. But then again, she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to get Jessie out of her dreams. She loved being with Jessie, loved seeing her again, loved touching her again. Even if it wasn't real, she was still thankful to be able to be with her again. She missed her. She hadn't gone a single day since they broke up without thinking about her or missing her. She still loved her, and part of her, she believed, always would. She always dreamed about seeing her again, of being with her again. Of loving her again, of being loved by her again. She hadn't been in a serious relationship with anyone since Jessie... heck, she had never been in a serious before Jessie either. Ever since she had met her she believed that Jessie was the one for her, and she still did, seven years later.

That dream filled night was wonderful. It was the first time she'd been around Jessie in years... 11 years, 3 months, and 2 days to be specific, not that she was counting or anything. She got to talk to her, tell her how much she missed her, how much she loved her, how much she wished they could be together again. To date again, or even to marry? Katie wasn't sure where that idea had come from, at first it seemed strange, but the more she thought about it, the more it seemed so... right. She hoped that someday, for real, she would be able to ask Jessie to marry her, to live with her, to have children together, to grow old together. All the scenes flashed before Katie's eyes in her dreams.

_She and Jessie on their wedding day. Jessie looked stunning as usual. Both their families were there. It was an out door wedding, very simple, married by a liberal Baptist pastor. Katie felt true bliss._

_Their first Christmas... with a child. A little girl, that was the spitting image of Jessie, only she had Katie's eyes, and her energy as well._

_Their daughter growing up, falling in love, and marrying a wonderful man__. Katie swelled with pride. She sat with Jessie as the man recited his vows to their daughter. Jessie reached over and squeezed her hand and Katie looked at her with adoration._

_F__inally, she and Jessie sitting together on their porch, watching the sunset go down, both old and retired. Just holding each other and enjoying each other's company, as they had for years past._

Katie awoke and rubbed her eyes. She was still in her car, on her way home. Jessie wasn't there, she still hadn't seen her in years.

"Damn" was all Katie could think to say. She checked her watch, and it only read 4:45am, so she decided that it would be best if she tried to get some more sleep, so that's what she did.

_I'm here without you baby,_

_But you're still with me in my dreams,_

_And tonight it's only you and me._

Jessie walked into her second story apartment after a particularly long days work. After automatically putting away her purse and keys, she walked over to the refrigerator, pulled out a TV. dinner, and proceeded to warm it up. After the microwave had completed its task, Jessie removed the dinner, sat down on her couch, and turned on the TV.

She was used to eating alone, she hadn't eaten a decent meal with anyone in such a long time, she had forgotten what it was like. It was hard for her to make herself eat, some days she just didn't feel like eating, but she forced herself to because she didn't want to go back to the days of her anorexia. She finished her meal and curled up on the couch, idly flipping through the channels.

Jessie was tempted to go through the box under her bed, to read all those precious notes, and to look at Katie's beautiful face, but she resisted the urge. It had been over a month since she'd looked through it, and she wasn't going to go through it. She wanted to forget about Katie Singer... or did she?

_Yes, yes, of course I do._ she thought to herself, and was determined not to think on it any longer.

She must have drifted off, because before she knew it, she was watching someone - a girl, tall and thin, with long beautiful dark blond hair. The girl's back was facing her, but Jessie somehow felt that she knew this girl. The girl was walking on the sidewalk towards the park, so Jessie followed her. She couldn't help it. She didn't know what she was suppose to do, but she felt desperate to find out who this girl was. She started running, trying to catch up with her. Jessie finally got close enough, and put her hand on the girl's shoulder, to try to stop her and turn her around. As soon as the girl turned around, she saw her face.

"Katie" she breathed. And with that, she woke up

TBC? Let me know if it's worth it


	2. Chapter 2

Fic: Here Without You (2/6)

For disclaimer and all that, see my first chapter!

Rating: I like it to stay constant, so PG-13ish.

I 3 fluff, so this is it!

The symbol – before and after a paragraph means memories, also, _italics_ are usually involved in thoughts.

Author's Note: Hope ya'll don't mind a really long story... at final count, my word processor told me this was ten pages long, so my deepest apologies if you don't like long fics! I've been working on this one for awhile now, hence the reason that it's so long.

Feedback: Yes please!

Hope you enjoy it!

As always, un-beta'd

_The miles just keep rolling_

_As the people leave there way to say hello_

Katie relaxed into the driver's seat, replaying the previous night's dreams in her head. She still had 7 hours to go, so she had a lot of time to analyze, reanalyze, and even psychoanalyze her dreams. Last night, was the best night she had had in a very long time.

_Maybe it was nothing, I should just chalk it up to seeing the picture yesterday, or maybe I ate something weird... I knew I shouldn't have had those tacos... Or maybe... maybe it's just because I really do miss her. Yeah, I do, don't I?_ She contemplated that for awhile longer, then glanced at the gas gage.

"Crap, need more gas..." she said aloud. She got off at the next exit and pulled into the nearest gas station. After filling the tank at an outrageous price, she got her money and went inside to pay the attendant.

"Well, well. If it isn't Katie Singer. My, it sure has been a long while." Katie froze when she heard the voice from behind her in line. She closed her eyes and grimaced. _please no_. she thought. She opened her eyes and slowly turned around. _Damn._ Sarah Grasser. She put on a fake smile.

"Hello, Sarah. What are you doing here?" Sarah gave her a once over, her eyes showing that she still had feelings for Katie. She returned Katie's stiff smile and shrugged.

"Just heading home for the holidays. You?" Katie nodded, but didn't want to go into detail about where she was coming from, and where exactly she was staying. Thankfully, her turn in line was next, so she eagerly paid the attendant, and faced Sarah again.

"Well, it was nice seeing you, but I've got to go." Katie state, wanting to get away from the other girl as soon as possible. Sarah nodded.

"Well, I just saw you over here in line so I thought I'd say 'hi'. Can I walk you out to your car or something?" Katie shivered at the thought. After the way Sarah treated her, and especially Jessie, she didn't want anything to do with her.

"No thanks, that really wouldn't be necessary." Sarah shrugged.

"Suit yourself. Have a nice life" and with that she walked off, much to Katie's relief. Katie made her way out of the station. She got back in her car, put her seat belt on, my shout out to highway safety :-) and took off. Seeing Sarah again was a shock. It brought back a flood of memories... this time she didn't push them away.

_I've heard this life is overrated,_

_But I hope that it gets better as we go._

Jessie was still shocked over the dream she had the night before. After she had woken up, she had an extremely difficult time getting back to sleep... she got in maybe six hours, which wasn't that bad, but she normally tried to get in at least eight.

She tried to focus on her work, but focus wasn't coming. She finally pushed away from her desk in frustration. What was the point anyways? Ultimately, it didn't really matter. She had plenty of time. She was one of the best lawyers, and her working that day really was not incredibly necessary. The holidays were coming up, and she hadn't been home for ages. She hadn't had a decent vacation for at least two years.

With that, she made up her mind. She was going to go home, see the family. She missed them. So funny, wasn't it? While she was living there, she couldn't wait to get away. But now that she's gone and living on her own, she wanted to go home. She laughed ruefully at that realization. Something was drawing her home, and while her family had something to do with it, she didn't think that that was the whole reason, though she tried to convince herself that it was. There was something else... someone else. Though she denied it, it was still there. Katie. She shook her head, then called her secretary.

"Joan?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"Hold all calls for today... no, make that for the rest of the week." She paused, "I'm going home to see my family."

"Ok, do you know when you'll be back?" Jessie thought for a second.

"Till after the holidays. I'll call if there are any changes."

"Yes ma'am." And the intercom clicked off

Jessie started going around her office, collecting anything that she may need for the next week or so, her laptop, cell phone, pager. All the necessities.

She thought about who she may need to call to tell that she was leaving for the week. She went through a list of people that she occasionally talked to, but couldn't come up with anyone. She shook her head again.

"Friends are overrated anyways." She smirked at that. There was a time, a long while ago, that she would have been horrified to think that, but now wasn't that time. Truthfully, she was lonely, she missed having people by her side, or at least one special person by her side.

"Oh well," she mused, "I guess things can't get much worse." And with that, she walked out of her office and down the streets of New York to her apartment.

_I'm here without you baby,_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

The memories, so real, like they just happened yesterday.

-The play... Jessie's costume... 'I choose you'... 'listen to the rain'... the sweater... 'cozy'... Billie Holiday... 'sing to me... 'I wanna live on a ranch'... 'I want a loft, in London'... staring at each other till Lily came in... Jessie avoiding her... the letter... the argument... the hug... 'I can't throw it away. I want to keep it forever'... and finally... the kiss.-

Katie's eyes misted over at the memories of her friendship with Jessie ultimately leading up to their relationship.

-Stolen kisses... in the refrigerator... the driveway... empty classrooms... Jessie's room. "I love you"... "I love you too." Hiding from everyone, keeping it all a secret, when all she really wanted to do was scream it from the rooftops that she loved Jessie.-

Katie couldn't help but smile. She had been good to Jessie, but Jessie had been just as good to her. They loved each other, the were in love. But it wasn't to last. 'Amazing what silly things could break people up, wasn't it?' she mused. Their breakup. Katie had always thought they'd be together forever. Part of her still did, so their breakup, though it was mutual, was a shock.

-Flashback-

"Hey babe!" Katie yelled at Jessie across the room. Jessie blushed and looked away, then, when she realized no one else was looking, flashed Katie a big grin. Katie started making her way over to Jessie and enveloped her in a hug.

"So, whats up?" She asked. Jessie shrugged.

"Not much, you?" Jessie asked as she wiggled her way out of Katie's embrace.

Hurt crossed Katie's features momentarily, and Jessie half regretted it immediately. Jessie knew she felt something for Katie, something very real... love even? She wasn't sure. She'd never been in love before. But whatever she felt towards Katie, she was still confused. Because she loved, or liked, or whatever-ed Katie, did that make her gay? The thought scared her. Being gay wasn't exactly forbidden, her family would learn to accept her the way she was, but it would take a long time for them to get used to it. And what about her friends? She could remember long ago them making fun of gay people, now what? Would they desert her, would they make fun of her? And would her family really be that accepting? She shivered.

This didn't go unnoticed by Katie.

"Are you cold? Here, take my jacket." Jessie looked at her, somewhat confused.

"Um, no, I'm fine..."

"Oh, ok, I just thought you may be cold, cause you shivered and all."

"No, I'm fine... listen, I've got to go, I promised mom that I'd be home early to help her with some stuff." Katie was a bit concerned; this is exactly how Jessie avoided before.

"Do you want me to come over and help you?" Jessie thought about this for a second. Of course she wanted to be near Katie, to be able to hold and kiss her, and to be held and kissed by her, but she needed some time to think, to clear her head. She needed to figure out what was going on.

"Not right now, besides, it would be boring for you." She said. Katie's face fell; she looked down at her feet, for her shoes had suddenly become very interesting.

She felt as if she were about to cry. Jessie was doing it to her again, only this time Jessie knew how Katie felt, and would be breaking her heart. Jessie saw the change in Katie's demeanor and felt bad.

"But you can come by a bit later, maybe we could hang out or watch a movie?" Katie looked up and felt relief washed over her. Jessie wasn't trying to avoid her, she wanted to spend some time that night with her. Katie nodded.

"Yeah... yeah, that sounds good. What time do you want me to be over by?" Jessie tilted her head and pretended to think as she studied her best friend's (or was it her girlfriend's?) features. She was so beautiful. Jessie felt as her heart leapt, and had to resist the urge to drag Katie into a dark corner and kiss her for the rest of her days.

"Ummm, how does 7 sound?" Even as Jessie said it, she knew that she wanted to see Katie before that, but she needed some time to think about everything.

"Yeah, 7 sounds fine." Katie paused, debating whether it'd be wise to try to get a kiss before she left. She decided against it, considering how Jess acted when she hugged her.

"Then 7 it is. See you then!" Katie began to walk away when Jessie grabbed her arm and pulled her into the nearest bathroom. After checking to make sure no one else was in there she pushed Katie up against the door and kissed her with all her might. As she drew back, she opened her eyes, and saw Katie was still standing there with her eyes closed with a dreamy and very surprised look on her adorable face.

"See you at 7." Jessie winked and walked out of the bathroom, leaving a stunned, yet very happy Katie in her wake.

- End flashback-

_I think about you baby,_

_And I dream about you all the time_

Jessie was thinking about the same thing as she finished packing and settled down in her bed for that night. She still smiled when she remember dragging Katie into the bathroom and surprising her with the kiss. It was so unlike her, she wasn't normally that courageous, but she wanted to prove to Katie that as far as she knew her feelings hadn't changed. She thought about it all as she drifted off to sleep.

-Dream/Flashback-

Jessie laid on the bed in her room at Karen's house contemplating what to do next. Her father had let her stay there with her mother while they moved to Australia for a couple of years. She kind of missed her room in the attic, but either way she wouldn't have it back for another couple of years.

_But about Katie..._ she thought. _What do I feel towards her? Do I really love her? What is love?_ She mused about these things for quite a long time. One thing that she knew for sure was that she was attracted to Katie, and that she loved to touch her and kiss her, but she wondered if it was anything more than a mere physical attraction?

_No, it must be more._ She figured. She loved Katie before Katie wrote her the letter, she just didn't know to what extent. Before she loved her as a friend... as her best friend. Her love grew out of friendship and into an attraction, and now it was growing into something much more. Jessie wasn't sure if what she felt was strong enough to be considered love yet, but she did know that she was in some serious like. She also knew that these feelings towards Katie grew stronger each and every day.

She was falling in love with Katie... hard and fast.

_So I'm falling in love with Katie,_ she conceded, but that still left her wondering how far she wanted it to go, how open would she be with everyone? Did she want to tell her family, her friends? "No." She stated to no one in particular. That was something she could not... would not do. If she were to have a relationship with Katie, no one else must know about it. That was it, end of discussion. Her mind was made up. And not too soon, because after she made that declaration she heard a knock at the door. She jumped, it surprised her, for she was deep in thought.

"Come in." she yelled, and the door opened, revealing her girlfriend. Jessie's heart leapt at the sight of her. Every time she saw Katie she felt so very lucky that she was able to see, feel, touch, smell, and taste her. Being around Katie intoxicated her, to the point that sometimes she didn't think she'd be able to stand or form complete sentences. And she enjoyed that very much.

"Hey babe," Katie said as she walked in the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Jessie's hands flew out to touch her as they did most of the time that Katie was around. It's like they had a mind of their own, when Katie was there, her hands had to be touching her in some way. Today they tangled themselves in her hair and Jessie drew Katie down to her for a kiss.

"Come here," she commanded and Katie willingly obeyed. They shared a slow and lazy kiss that lasted for what seemed like ages. Katie slowly pulled back, her eyes full of love and desire.

"I think I'm falling in love with you." Jessie said. She didn't really mean to say it, it just kind of tumbled out. She closed her eyes and turned away as she felt the tears began to form. She wasn't sure how Katie would react to this when she felt Katie's hand on her cheek, turning her face back towards her. The next thing she felt was Katie's lips covering hers in the softest kiss... then her lips become increasingly firmer. It was an amazing kiss, filled with so much love and passion. When Katie pulled back she cupped Jessie's cheeks in her hands.

"I love you too, don't you know that?" Jessie smiled and looked up at Katie, her eyes glowing. They rested their foreheads together, one of their favorite things to do, and just stared into each other's eyes for a while.

-School, the next day-

"JESSIE!" Katie called from across the hall. "LUNCH?" Jessie nodded her head and Katie made the international 'I love you' symbol. Jessie caught it out of the corner of her eye as she turned away and blushed bright crimson. She'd have to talk to Katie about that. No saying stuff or making gestures like that in public. She just couldn't deal with it. 'Katie will have to understand' Jessie thought to herself as she made her way to class.

- End Dream/Flashback-

_I'm here without you baby,_

_But you're still with me in my dreams,_

_And tonight girl, it's only you and me._

Katie took the fact about how lucky she was to heart, and she didn't take Jessie for granted, in fact she treated her the exact opposite. Jessie was her queen, her goddess, and she wouldn't do anything to ever harm her, and would do just about anything to keep holding on to her. Not until that fateful day at Jessie's house when everything changed...

-Flashback-

"Hey" Katie said as she put her tray down on the lunch table, took the seat next to Jessie and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. Jessie turned a bright shade of red and looked away. Katie didn't notice and began to eat her food.

"Can you believe this stuff?" She said, referring to the food, "I mean, it's totally nasty. I don't know how they pass the inspections every year, this place has got to be disgusting..." She went off for a bit, but Jessie wasn't paying attention. When Katie finally realized that her audience wasn't as attentive as usual she looked over at Jessie, who was staring out into space, and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Helloooooo, earth to Jessie?" She said. Jessie turned to look at her and Katie began to take her next bite.

"Katie, we need to talk." As soon as she heard those words she didn't feel like eating much else at all. She slowly put her fork down into the gray/brow goo they called beef casserole and turned to look at Jessie. _oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no..._ was the chorus that repeated itself in her head.

"Umm... ok." She said, not sure exactly how to act or respond. "What's up?" Jessie shook her head.

"Not here, not now." She said, and began to play with her food. Katie was the most scared that she'd ever been in her entire life.

"When then?" Katie asked, somewhat timidly. Jessie thought for a second.

"Meet me at my house after school." Katie began to ask which house she meant when she realized she only had one house now and mentally beat herself over the head. Jessie looked at her watch and picked up her tray.

"It's about time for class." She said. "Better be going before you're late." And with that, she walked away.

Katie moped through the rest of the day, dreading that afternoon. She couldn't imagine what Jessie wanted to talk to her about... unless... unless she wanted to break up. The thought alone killed her.

Jessie meant the world to her, more than anyone or anything ever had before. Jessie was her world, her sun, her moon, her stars... her universe. It seemed like for the last several weeks, Jessie was her life. Knowing that she would see Jessie that day made her drag herself out of bed. It made her take a shower and make herself look presentable. It made her happy. Not just happy, it made her overjoyed. Just knowing that she'd see Jessie was all it took to put a smile on her face.

But now she was worried. She loved Jessie, and she thought Jessie loved her. She'd said as much the night before. Katie wrestled with that till the end of the day, barely paying attention in any of her classes.

The last bell of the day rang, and Katie absentmindedly gathered her stuff and took it all back to her lockers. She then set out to find Jessie, and to give her a ride home. It wasn't a hard task, because Jessie was standing at her own locker, fussing with some of the books that didn't want to fit. She finally got them in and turned around, noticing Katie was there for the first time.

"Ready to go?" Katie asked. Jessie nodded, and they made their way out to Katie's red '98 Jeep Wrangler. They got in, and Jessie turned on the radio. _Guess she doesn't want to talk now, eh?_ They drove to Jessie's house in silence, except for the music blaring over the radio.

When they got to Jessie's house, Katie turned the car off.

"Jess, I've been worried all day, what's up?" Jessie tugged on her arm.

"I'll tell you inside." she said as they got out of the car and headed in the house. Once they got inside, they headed up to Jessie's room, where she closed the door. Katie sat awkwardly on the bed, and Jessie came over and sat next to her.

"What's going on..." she started to say, but was interrupted by Jessie's lips on hers.'Ehm, well, if this is what she wanted to 'talk about', then I'm all for it.' she thought. After several minutes, they broke apart and rested their foreheads together. Jessie looked into Katie's eyes.

"Katie..." she said "I want... need to talk to you about something." Katie sat up straight and nodded. Jessie took a deep breath, and attempted to keep her eyes locked with Katie's, tho every nerve in her body told her to look away. She didn't want to see the hurt cross Katie's features when she told her what she was about to tell her.

"Katie, I don't want to tell anyone about this... us." Katie stared at her blankly. Maybe she hadn't quite understood.

"Um, huh?" Jessie tried again. "I don't want to tell anyone about us." Katie nodded her head in understanding. Truthfully, she didn't understand, but she wanted to know what Jessie was thinking.

"Mind if I ask why?" Katie questioned and Jessie closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened her eyes again, tears were forming. She had to look away, she couldn't bare to look at Katie's face right then.

"Because I am just getting my life back together. I can finally walk through the halls and not be made fun of because of my anorexia. I just don't know if I could stand being called gay. I don't know what my parents would say, if they found out their only daughter was gay. They would be hurt, upset, and confused. And disappointed. I just don't want to do that to them again." She looked over into Katie's eyes and tried to read the emotions running through them. There was a long silence before Katie said something.

"Gay, is that what you think we, or I am?"

"Well, aren't you? What about you and Sarah, and even Tara? What about them? Doesn't liking more than one person of the same gender make you gay?" Katie shook her head.

"Where did you ever get the idea about me and Sarah, and how did you ever find out about Tara?" Jessie opened her mouth to answer, but Katie waved her hand to silence her. "Regardless, Sarah was my friend, _only_ my friend. She kissed me one day, and I kinda kissed back, but besides that, we were only friends. Nothing more. I guess that kind of made her think that we were an item, but it didn't _mean_ anything to me. As for Tara, well, she was my best friend a couple of years back, but her family moved away. That's about the time Sarah and I became friends." Jessie nodded, her mind in a haze, wondering why she ever, even for a second, believed Sarah. But Katie wasn't finished.

"Jessie, we aren't gay. We love each other for who we are. I'm still Katie, the same Katie that you knew and loved a month and a half ago... and you're still Jessie, the same sweet and adorable Jessie. You think we're gay? No. It's me, Katie, in love with you, Jessie. That doesn't make us gay."

Jessie couldn't take it anymore. She was so confused. She didn't know what was going on anymore. Katie sat there, waiting... waiting for her reaction, her answer... anything. Jessie stood up and grabbed Katie's arm.

"You need to go. Now." Jessie said, as she dragged her towards the door.

"Jessie, please, let's talk about this. I didn't mean to upset you. I love you. Please, don't shut me out." Katie pleaded, but Jessie couldn't deal with this right now.

"I'm sorry. I just need to be alone." She said as she placed a quick peck on Katie's cheek and pushed her out the door.

Katie turned around and stared at the shut door behind her, and felt as the tears came and began to fall. She wasn't sure if she should go back up to the door, to knock and beg Jessie to let her in, so they could discuss things, but she ultimately decided against it. She walked to her car, got in, and drove away... the tears falling freely.

-End Flashback-

--------------------------

TBC eventually. I've got some other stuff on my plate right now, so consider this one suspended until further notice. Let me know how you like it anyways, I really and truly love feedback, and I haven't been getting very much recently! So please tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

_Everything I know, and anywhere I go,_

_It gets hard but it won't take away my love._

~*~ Flashback~*~

Jessie went back up to her room, shut the door, and laid down on her

bed. The tears began to flow as she thought about what Katie had said

to her. Katie was right, and she knew it. But what if they did tell

everyone? They would be considered gay even if they really weren't.

Jessie sighed. 'But does it really matter what people think?' She

wondered and reflected on that for awhile. To Katie, it may not

matter what people think... but to her... to her it did.

She was a bit envious of Katie sometimes... she was beautiful and

popular. Everyone looked up to her, and no one ever dared to make fun

of her. She wondered if that's what it would be like for her if

people knew she dated Katie? Would she suddenly become popular by

association? Would people be nice to her, and not stare and make fun

of her? But what happens after that? What happens when Katie goes off

to college, and she is still stuck at school, or, heaven forbid, if

they were to break up. Then what? Would people go back to staring and

pointing at her in the halls. Whispering something about her like,

'Do you see Jessie Sammler over there? She used to be an anorexic

sicko, and now she's gay! I heard shes' slept with half of the girls

in her class.' or something to that awful extent. She shivered at the

thought. Like she had told Katie, she couldn't deal with that any

longer. She couldn't come out, not now, not at least until she got to

college. But would Katie wait that long? Would she want to? She knew

Katie loved her... but did she love her that much? Jessie couldn't

answer that.

She knew right then that even if Katie loved her that much, that she

couldn't put her through that. She wasn't ready to have the kind of

relationship that Katie wanted, and Jessie didn't want to hold her

back.

She knew what she had to do. It pained her... she didn't particularly

want to, but it was the only answer. 'It's only for a year, maybe

two.' she told herself. She picked up the phone and dialed a familiar

number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Lily, can I speak to my dad please?"

"Oh, hey Jessie, sure hold on a second, let me find him."

"Thanks." There was a pause, and some muffled voices before her dad

answered.

"Jess?"

"Hey daddy."

"Do what do owe the pleasure of this call?"

Jessie took a deep breath. "I want to come live with you guys in

Australia." She heard Rick cough, or choke, to be more precise.

"You what?"

"I want to come live with you and everyone else." Rick was quiet for

a long time. He hadn't in a million years thought that Jessie would

say this. After the huge deal she made out of staying back in the

states... wow.

Jessie was worried. She hadn't exactly known what to expect when she

called her father... but she hoped with everything in her that he'd

say yes... it would sure save her a lot of problems if she did go to

live with them.

"Ok." Jessie blinked.

"Really?"

"Yes, you can come live with us. When should we expect you?" Jessie

thought for several moments.

"Give me to the end of next week to get everything together, and I'll

call you so you can get me a plane ticket."

"Ok, sounds good. Can I ask what changed your mind to where you want

to live?"

"Maybe when I get there, daddy." She said, hoping that Rick would

understand that this wasn't exactly something that she wanted to

discuss.

"Alrighty then, we'll plan to see you next week then. Love you,

honey."

"Love you too, daddy. And thanks."

"You're welcome. Bye"

"Bye" Jessie said as she hung up the phone. She sure hoped she knew

what she was doing. Now came the hard part... talking to Karen.

~*~End Flashback~*~

_When the last one falls, when it's all said and done_

_It gets hard but it won't take away my love_

~*~Flashback~*~

Katie paced around her room. It had been three very long days since

that fateful afternoon. Jessie had done everything she could to avoid

her, including skipping school that Friday. Now it was Sunday, and

Katie was a little more than worried.

It hurt her, what Jessie said. It was hard for her *not* to tell

everyone that she loved Jessie, then to find out that Jessie didn't

want anyone to know...it was almost too much. The only reason that

she didn't let Jessie go right then and there was, in truth, Katie

loved her more than life itself. She wasn't sure what she'd do

without Jessie around.

Katie got tired of pacing and sat down in front of her computer. She

stared at the screen, at the wallpaper she made from a picture of her

and Jessie taken after the school play, on the night of the party.

She was so happy that night... she had just chosen Jessie over Sarah,

and she was sure she had made the right decision.

Katie drummed her fingers on the desk and thought back to the fun

times that they had shared. She was startled out of her daydreams by

the phone ringing. She begrudgingly picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Katie"

"Jessie! Where have you been? I've been worried about you!"

Jessie ignored her. "I need to talk to you. Can you come over?"

"Right now?" Katie asked as she swallowed. 'This can not be good...'

she thought.

"Yes, right now."

"Ok, I'll be over in 15."

"Thanks, bye." And with that, Jessie hung up the phone.

Katie wasn't sure what to make of all of it. All she knew was it

couldn't be a good thing. Jessie had sounded so distant and cold over

the phone... she had never talked to her like that before.

Katie quickly got her coat and left. On the way over to Jessie's

house, she turned the radio up as loud as she could stand. She pulled

into Jessie's driveway several minutes later and sat there,

attempting to collect herself and prepare for the worst. She got out

of the jeep and walked up to the door, where Jessie stood waiting.

"Hey" Jessie said, not making any movement to make body contact.

Katie stood there and returned the greeting. There was an awkward

silence as they stood on the front porch until Jessie broke it.

"Do you want to go inside?"

"Sure." And so they did. Katie followed Jessie up to her room, and

shut the door behind them out of habit. Jessie seated herself in the

middle of her bed and motioned for Katie to sit facing her. Katie did

so, and Jessie folded her hands in her lap.

Jessie had rehearsed all day what she was going to say to Katie, but

now that she was sitting here in front of her, she couldn't remember

a word of it.

Katie stared at her intently, waiting... just waiting. She wasn't

going to rush Jessie. She could tell that the other girl was nervous

by the way she was fidgeting uncomfortably. All she knew is whatever

Jessie had to say next couldn't be good. Jessie raised her eyes to

Katie's and began to speak.

"Katie, there's something I need to tell you." Katie nodded solemnly,

and Jessie took a deep breath then continued.

"I'm going to live with my father." Jessie said as Katie stared at

her blankly. "I'm moving to Australia."

Katie felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. The full

force of what Jessie just said started to register with her.

"Australia..." Katie repeated, still in shock. Jessie nodded.

"Yes."

"Why?" She saw Jessie think for a moment before answering. "Because

dad wants me to, and I think it would be a very good experience."

Katie couldn't believe what Jessie had just said to her. This girl

sitting in front of her swore not more than a few months ago that she

would never move to Australia... and now... Katie shook her head.

"No." She whispered, as the tears began to rise, and fall.

Jessie nodded sadly as she looked on at the girl in front of her, the

girl who's heart she had just broken. She knew she was lucky to have

someone like Katie, she just didn't know how lucky she really was.

She ached at seeing Katie in so much pain, and knowing that she was

the cause. When she imagined this, she didn't see Katie acting this

way, probably because she had never acted this way in front of her

before. She didn't know what she was expecting... but this wasn't it.

Jessie was torn. Part of her wanted to call it off... and to hold

Katie and assure the crying girl in front of her that it would be all

right. But the half of her that longed for acceptance, for perfection

was stronger, and it held her back. 'I guess Grace really was

right... 'Perfect Jessie couldn't possibly be in love with a GIRL.''

she thought sadly. She pushed all those thoughts aside and returned

her attention to the girl in front of her. Jessie was slammed with

the raw emotions that she saw on Katie's face, in Katie's eyes... and

she truly began to understand how much she hurt this girl. The look

in her eyes... the look of anger, hurt... betrayal... that was

something she'd never forget. Jessie's heart ached, and she too began

to cry.

"No." Katie whispered with more determination, her jaw clenched as

the tears flowed down her face. "You can't."

"I'm sorry. So very sorry." Jessie whispered as she reached out her

hand to touch Katie's hand, but Katie pulled away, as if the touch

would burn her. She quickly stood up and ran out of the room. Jessie

followed immediately, and caught up with her at Katie's jeep.

"Katie, please don't be mad. Please don't go! I'm sorry!" She cried

as Katie got in the Jeep and closed the door.

"I..." Katie started, but her voice broke. "I have to go." And with

that, she closed the door and drove off, leaving Jessie in the

driveway crying.

Jessie sat in the airport terminal, waiting to board her plane. Karen

had dropped her off an hour early, so by the time she got through

everything, she figured she had about 10 or 15 minutes left. [Keep in

mind, that this is all pre 9/11, so airports moved a lot faster back

then]. She reached down into her backpack and pulled out one of the

latest teen magazines that her mother had gotten for her so she would

have something to read on the plane. She had been thumbing through it

for several minutes when she heard a familiar voice.

"There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" Jessie turned

around and found herself looking into a pair of very beautiful, yet

very familiar, mossy green eyes. She was speechless. She hadn't

expected this, not in a million years. She thought when Katie drove

away a couple of days ago, that she would never see her again... but

here she was, standing in front of her. She wasted no more time, and

reached over and pulled Katie into a hug.

"What... what are... " Katie smiled as Jessie fumbled with her

words.

"I called your mom today. She told me where and when to find you."

Jessie melted, and Katie went on.

"I couldn't let you leave without seeing you again. And I have

something I wanted to give you. I was saving this till Christmas,

but... well... yeah." Katie gave a small smile. She pulled a little

box out of her purse and handed it to Jessie. "I wanted you to have

this before you left."

Jessie looked at Katie, then down at the box. She opened it, and

inside lay a gold chain with half a gold heart. Engraved on it was

the beginning of the word 'forever'. Jessie's eyes sparkled.

"It's beautiful." She lifted the necklace out and held it up. "Put it

on for me?" She asked. Katie smiled and put it around Jessie's neck.

After she had latched it Jessie asked where the other half was,

already knowing the answer. Katie tugged on the similar gold chain

around her neck and revealed the other half of the heart from

underneath her shirt. Jessie picked up her half, and together they

made the heart whole.

"Now boarding for flight 1370 non-stop to Australia." Jessie's smile

faded, and she furrowed her brow.

"That's my flight." she said glumly. Katie's face fell.

"I don't quite have to leave yet." She said hopefully. "I probably

still have a few minutes before the final boarding call." She said.

Katie nodded, but couldn't quite smile. The thought of Jessie's

immediate departure was just too depressing.

"This is my heart, Jessie." She said, while pointing to the

necklace. "It'll will always be broken with out you." She said as she

removed her half. "You're my other half." She smiled sadly. "My

better half. And I'll always be incomplete without you." Jessie felt

the tears well up in her eyes, and one spilled over.

"I have something else for you." She said, as she reached back into

her purse. This time she drew out an envelope. "Don't open it till

you're on the plane... or you miss me." Jessie gave her a sad smile.

"I already miss you." Jessie said. She didn't have anything to give

Katie, but she reached into her backpack and pulled out her notebook.

She fished out a pen and began to write. Katie looked on a bit

confused, but didn't ask what she was writing. Jessie scrawled a few

things, then folded the paper and handed it to Katie.

"The same goes for you. Don't open it till you leave, or till you

miss me." Katie took the letter, and they stood there, memorizing

each other's features. Jessie was the first to break the silence.

"I love you, Katie."

"I love you too, Jessie." Katie cupped Jessie's cheek in her hand,

massaging the soft skin with her thumb. Jessie closed her eyes, she

was determined to remember this feeling forever. She took the palm of

Katie's hand and kissed it.

"Last boarding call for flight 1370" rang through the terminal.

Jessie felt as the tears that welled up in her eyes slowly began to

fall. She leaned over and kissed Katie soundly on the lips then

rested her head against the other girls'.

"I have to go." She said. Katie nodded.

"Goodbye, Katie Singer." Jessie saw as a single tear fall from one of

Katie's eyes as she turned around and went to board the plane.

Katie stood and watched as Jessie walked down the ramp, looking back

only once to wave, then she was gone.

"Goodbye, Jessie Sammler. I'll always love you, no matter what." She

whispered as she walked over to the glass, to watch the plane. She

watched as it backed out of the terminal, as it taxied, and finally,

as it became airborne, only then did she walk out of the airport and

into the crisp autumn evening. "No matter what."

Jessie sat facing the window on the plane, trying to suppress her

tears. If she hadn't been completely convinced that leaving was the

right thing to do, she wouldn't be doing it. Though it was killing

her right then, she believed that it was for the best.

She reached down into her backpack and drew out the envelope that

Katie had given her, just moments before. She carefully opened it,

and pulled out the letter. She closed her eyes and smelled it. It

smelled exactly like Katie did. She opened her eyes, unfolded the

letter, and began to read.

Billie,

I'm sorry about the way I acted the other night. I was shocked,

confused, and upset. I've been moping around for the last few days,

until I realized that I was being selfish. If I really and truly love

you as much as my heart tells me I do, then I would let you go.

You're right, Australia is a wonderful opportunity, and I'm sure it

will be a great experience. Just know that you go with my blessing

(if that means anything). I'm sorry if I did or said something that

made you want to leave, and I'm sorry for being so selfish about you.

The only reason is because I love you so much. Just know that

whatever happens, whatever changes, one thing will always remain the

same: my love for you.. I'll let you go free now, hoping that one day

you'll come back to me, because I think... no, I know you're worth

the wait. And I will wait for you, whether it be a month, a year, or

even several years. I'll wait for you, because I know, beyond a

shadow of a doubt, that you're worth it.

I miss you so very much.

I love you, forever and always.

Yours, and only yours,

Katie Singer.

Jessie read the letter over several more times, only stopping when

the tears in her eyes burned so badly it made it hard for her to

read. She carefully folded the letter back up, and stuck it into her

backpack.

Katie sat in her car, crying her heart out. Jessie was gone. Jessie

was on her way to a different country. It was still hard to grasp.

She wiped her eyes, and remembered the letter Jessie wrote in the

airport, and pulled it out.

Katie,

I'm so glad to see you, you have no idea. I'm really sorry I have to

go, but I do believe it's right for me. I just hope that someday,

you'll be able to forgive me. I just wanted you to know, that you are

more amazing than I could have ever dreamed of. You were the best

girlfriend ever. I just wanted you to know that. Please, remember

that, Katie. And dream of me, will you?

I will always wear this necklace... always.

I love you. So very, very much. Please don't ever forget that. I

always will, and I'll always be your 'Billie.'

Goodbye, and I love you and miss you.

Jessie Sammler


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm here without you baby,_

_But you're still on my lonely mind_

Years had passed since they'd seen each other, but through it all,

they still knew they loved each other. People came, and people went,

but none of there were right for either of them.

Jessie had done everything she could to forget about Katie, except

break her promise of wearing the necklace. She had had many

boyfriends, which she tried to use to forget Katie, but nothing

worked. It was a huge step for her to decide to go home and see her

family. She hadn't been back since left for Australia all those

years ago.

So here she was, five years later, sitting on a plane, heading back

to the one place she never thought she'd ever want to go again. She

was nervous... she looked forward to seeing everyone, but somewhere

in the back of her mind, she wondered... maybe even hoped a little

that she'd see Katie. It was strange, she had tried for so long to

forget Katie, and now she might actually be looking forward to

seeing her. 'Of course I am.' she thought. Katie was someone she

always looked forward to seeing, no matter what.

'I'm getting ahead of myself,' she reasoned 'I don't even know where

Katie lives or anything.'

She exited the plane and went over to find the nearest pay phone.

She dialed a familiar number and waited for them to pick up.

"Hello?" The voice cracked over the phone.

"Hey mom."

"Jessie, honey, is that you?"

"Yes mom."

"Well! How have you been?" Her mother questioned, sounding pleased.

"Pretty good. I've got a surprise for you."

"What?"

"I'm home."

There was a pause on the other end. " Umm...hello?"

"Yes, dear, I'm here... You're home? As in *here* home?"

Jessie smiled. "Yes, as in *here* home. I'm at the airport right

now. I'm gonna go get a rental car, then I'll be over in a bit. I

just wanted to call and let you know!"

Jessie navigated down the familiar streets to her mother's house.

When she pulled up front, she turned off the car and stared at the

house. 'So many years, so many memories.' she thought. She made her

way out of the car and up the sidewalk to the front door. She paused

for a second before knocking. In a matter of seconds the door was

opened, and she was greeted with a warm, and very tight, hug.

"Baby, it's soo good to see you!" Her mom said as she let go of her

long enough to get a good look. "Jessie, you look great!" Jessie

grinned and thanked her mom.

"You look good too! Where's Henry?" Karen smiled

"He's out at the store, to get some food for you."

"Aww, he's so sweet!" Karen nodded.

"Come in, come in, tell me about your life." And so that's what she

did.

A short while later Henry came home, and they all caught up

together. It was getting late, so Jessie decided that she was tired

enough to turn in, so she did. She made her way up the stairs and

into her room. It was the same now, as when she left it. The solar

system that her dad made was still hanging in the corner, the big

teddy bear was sitting in his chair next to the bed. All was well

and good, and it was like she had been transported back in time, to

simpler days, care free days. Days with Katie. She reached down and

felt the half heart around her neck and sighed. She unpacked what

she would need for the next few days, got her pajama's on, and

crawled into bed.

The next morning, she awoke to the smells of coffee and eggs. She

stretched and forced herself out of bed. She sleepily made her way

down the stairs and into the kitchen where she was greeted by Henry

cooking over the stove, and her mother looking on, with love in her

eyes. It was such a wonderful sight. It was good to see her mother

so happy, because she remembered back to days before Henry, when her

mother was always sad and depressed.

Jessie went over and sat down at the table and ate as soon as Henry

placed the food in front of her. Karen asked what she had in mind

for the day, and Jessie thought for a moment before she answered.

"I think I want to go visit some people. I'm thinking Grace, Eli,

and maybe even stop by Booklovers to see how that's going, and

visit Judy." Karen nodded.

"You better get stared then, you have a long day in front of you!"

Jessie grinned and nodded her head in agreement.

Her visit to Grace had been great. She hadn't realized how much she

had actually missed her until they were sitting around talking.

Grace hadn't found that special someone yet, though Jessie had

always thought Grace and Eli would make such a wonderful couple if

they ever got around to hooking up, so Grace told Jessie all about

her latest boyfriends.

In turn Jessie told her about her life back in New York and all the

wonderful things happening there. Grace had a small smile etched

across her face the whole time, like she was keeping something from

her, but Jessie couldn't tell what it was.

After spending a couple hours with Grace, she made her way over to

Eli's apartment. He had started to get his act back together, and

had just finished his bachelors degree in music, so now he was

trying to figure out what to do with that. He was musically gifted,

and though his band broke up after he moved, he didn't think he

would have much trouble getting one together. He also worked a part

time job at a music store to help pay for rent. Everything was

otherwise fine by him, he didn't have a girlfriend, because he spent

too much time working on everything else. Jess was glad to see him,

he was a sight for sore eyes. Though they hadn't been extremely

close while they were growing up, they still loved each other very

much.

After a slight pause in the conversation, Jessie decided to ask the

question that had been nagging her for so long.

"Eli?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Have you heard anything about Katie Singer, where she is and what

she's doing?"

Eli thought for a moment. "Actually, yeah, I have. Funny you should

ask. I remember Grace saying something about her coming home for

Christmas this year. I think she actually saw her a couple of days

ago." Jessie's heart leapt, though she tried not to show her

excitement. 'So that's what Grace was smiling about the whole time I

was over there, eh? The little sneak' she though. A small grin crept

across Eli's face.

"You two were more than friends, weren't you?" Jessie's eyes got

really big, and her jaw dropped.

"How did... did you..." Jessie stuttered. "Wha... was it really

that obvious?" Eli smirked and folded his arms across his chest.

"Jess, when you spend that much time around a hot girl like Katie,

whether you're a girl or not, you're bound to fall for her. And

besides the fact that you two were attached at the hip, it was like

you and she had a connection, and when you stared into each other's

eyes... well, lets just say you could feel the love radiating off

you two." Jessie blushed deep crimson. He continued. "And when you

saw her enter the room or something, I could see your eyes light up,

like they never had before, and I could tell. You were in love."

"So... you're ok with that? That I was... am in love with a girl?"

Eli smiled, and leaned his chair back.

"Well, I'm not too happy about the fact that a seriously hot girl

was... or still is off the market, but other than that, I think

it's great." He joked. "Besides, it's not like you can choose who

you fall in love with." A far away look came into his eyes, and

Jessie smiled. She knew what... or who he was thinking of.

"Go for it." She stated. Eli looked at her strangely.

"What do you mean?" Jessie grinned knowingly.

"You and Grace. Go for it. You both want it, I know that, so just do

it. Ask her out. Date her. Invite me to the wedding in a couple of

years." She joked. He raised an eyebrow at her and gave her a 'yeah

right' look and she grinned.

"But seriously, ask her out, I can almost guarantee she won't say

no."

"Really?"

"Really."

Jessie left Eli's house a short time later and headed over to

Booklovers. She was a bit excited about seeing Judy, after all, she

was one of her mother's closest friends [Sorry if that isn't right,

I'm not exactly sure how Judy actually fits into the O&A

plot, 'cause I only got to see one episode]. She got out of her

rented car and walked up the familiar sidewalk and into the store.

It hadn't changed much in the five years that she was gone, the rows

of books were the same and the scent of coffee still lingered in the

air. Jessie made her way around the books and chairs over to the

register where Judy was helping a customer.

"Thank you, Mrs. Gordon, you have a good day now!" The woman nodded,

turned around and left.

"Hey Judy." Judy looked up at her, and it took her a second to

realize who she was.

"Jessie? Oh my god! What are you doing here?" She said as she

reached over the counter to give her a hug. Jessie smiled and

explained that she was home for the holidays and was just going

around visiting people. They talked for several more minutes before

another customer came up, and Judy had to help them.

Jessie wandered through the bookshelves, running her hands along the

familiar rows. She wasn't paying attention where she was going when

someone rammed into her at full speed, and the other person's books

went flying everywhere.

"I'm so sorry!" The girl said as she began to bend down to pick up

her books.

"No, totally my fault, I wasn't looking where..." Jessie stopped in

dead sentence. The girl looked directly at her, and right then

Jessie recognized her.

"Katie..." She breathed her eyes wide, and her heart beating a

thousand miles an hour.

_I think about you baby,_

_And I dream about you all the time_

Katie had been home for two days now. She'd made the rounds and

visited all the people she used to hang out with that were still

around. It was nice to catch up with them. She had even seen Grace

right after she got back, when she went to the grocery store to pick

up some stuff to eat, because her parents never kept the kitchen

stocked with the kind of food that she liked. Her relationship had

been strained with them ever since she had come out to them so many

years before. They had always wondered what they had done wrong, and

why their daughter was like this. They blamed themselves for the way

she was, even though she tried to convince them otherwise. Her

mother was still in a little denial, so Katie would never bring home

a girlfriend when she came home for the holidays to be considerate.

Not that she ever had a girlfriend that she would have consitered

serious enough to bring home for the holidays or anything. Her so

called 'girlfriends' consisted mostly of one night stands.

She had made her way over to Booklovers to pick up a couple of

books, which would be the last of her Christmas shopping. While she

was there, she began to look at books, and because she had developed

a love to read over the last couple years, she soon found herself

with a pile of books to buy. She some how managed to twist her arm

in the right direction to be able to see her watch. She was late, as

usual. She was suppose to go and get a hair cut in less than ten

minutes, so she took off. She was looking in the opposite direction

for a moment so she didn't see the girl walking slowly in front of

her. She rammed into the poor girl at full speed, and her books fell

all over the ground.

"I'm so sorry." She said as she began to bend down to pick up the

books. Before she did though, she heard a familiar voice.

"Katie..." the girl breathed. Katie looked up at her, and her eyes

grew large when she realized who was in front of her.

"Jessie?" Katie managed to get out. She opened her mouth to say

something else, but no words came. So she closed it. She opened and

closed her mouth several more times before she finally gave up on

being able to form a complete sentence.

Jessie was standing in front of her, much like she had been in the

dream. 'This meeting wasn't chance' Katie thought. 'It's fate for us

to be together.'

They were both just standing there, neither of them moving, just

staring at the other, taking in everything about each other. Katie

couldn't stand it any more so she took a step forward and enveloped

Jessie in a warm, and very tight hug. She felt as the tears sprung

to her eyes.

"I missed you so much." She said, tears threatened to fall. Jessie

pulled away, tears forming in her eyes.

"I missed you too." Katie put her hand on Jessie's cheek, memorizing

the feel of Jessie's skin on her hand. She ever so carefully

caressed the soft skin with her thumb, burning the touch into her

memory forever. Jessie closed her eyes, trying to suppress her

emotions, while melting into Katie's touch. Katie moved her thumb

across Jessie's velvet flesh, and down across her lips. Jessie

didn't move, so Katie leaned down and gently brushed her own lips

against Jessie's. She pulled away, so as to see how Jessie would

respond. Jessie just stood there, eyes closed and lips slightly

parted, in a dream-like state. A couple of moments later, she

reopened her eyes, and they grew wide as she stared at Katie.

In that moment, Jessie made a decision.

She had always wondered what she would do if she ever saw Katie

again, but she never thought she'd do what she did... She reached up

and put her hand around the back of Katie's neck, then pulled her

down and kissed her... hard. She put everything into the kiss. All

the emotions that had built up inside her over the years. Through

that kiss she told Katie how much she really missed her and how much

she loved her. She conveyed so many things with that one kiss, but

most of all, that she was no longer ashamed of who she was, and of

Katie. At last, she didn't care what people thought, her friends,

her family... her parents. She no longer cared what anyone

though... except Katie. She had lived long enough away from Katie

that she knew she wanted ... needed Katie in her life.

And for the first time in a long while, she was happy.

_I'm here without you baby,_

_But you're still with me in my dreams,_

_And tonight girl, it's only you and me._

Katie stood there in shock. Complete and utter shock. She had never,

in a million years expected Jessie to be the one to kiss her, and in

public of all places. Not only in public, but in a store they used

to frequently visit, in which people still knew who they were.

Katie's eyes were wide with surprise when Jessie pulled back. She

smiled at Katie, the same smile that was able to melt her years ago

still had the same effect on her. It turned her to putty in Jessie's

hands. Jessie's arms were still around her neck, and she slid her

arms around Jessie's waist as she recovered.

"Wow"

"Surprised?" Katie nodded her head vigorously as Jessie looked a bit

shy.

"Me too, to be honest. Do you want to get out of here, I want to

talk to you, but I don't think here is the best place... somewhere

quieter would be nice." Katie nodded her head and took Jessie's hand

in hers.

"Wanna go back to my parent's place? They won't be home for a couple

more hours." Jessie nodded, and Katie led her out the door. They

only lived a couple of blocks away from where they were, so they

decided to go ahead and walk from where they were.

They walked inside, and Katie took Jessie's coat and motioned for

her to sit on the sofa. She hung up their coats, and went to join

her. Jessie turned and looked at her thoughtfully before she spoke.

"I realized some thing... several things actually." She said,

continuing their conversation.

"What?" Katie asked and Jessie took a deep breath and looked Katie

right in the eye.

"I realized that I made a huge mistake long ago, by leaving. I

shouldn't have, and it would have saved both of us a lot of grief.

It would have saved me wondering for the last five years what would

have happened if I hadn't left, if I'd stayed here with you."

"Me too." Katie quickly interjected, and Jessie readjusted her focus

to the wall.

"I knew I shouldn't have left, but I was scared. I was scared of

what people would think about me, about us. I was ashamed of who I

was." Katie looked on in understanding.

"So, what changed?" Jessie looked back at Katie.

"I've spent the last five years of my life missing you. I don't want

to live without you anymore. And now I don't really care what anyone

else thinks. After all these years, I still know one thing."

"What?" Katie breathed, and Jessie's eyes twinkled.

"I still love you." Katie broke out in in a huge smile.

"I love you too, Jessie." And with that, Katie leaned down and

captured Jessie's lips with her own, and they shared a sweet kiss.

When they pulled away because the need for air was great, Katie

rested her forehead against Jessie's, looked into her sparkling blue

eyes, and smiled.

"I've waited for this moment for so long, to have you back in my

arms. I just can't believe it." Katie said, and while she said it,

her tone changed, to more serious.

"But Jessie, I want you to promise me something." She said as she

pulled back to look Jessie right in the eye. Jessie nodded for her

to continue.

"Promise me that you won't leave again, that you won't run away.

That you'll talk to me and we can talk things through. Together. I

don't want you to feel like you can't. And please, no more rash

decisions, like moving to a foreign country, ok?" She added with a

grin.

"But seriously, don't run from me, ok? We can work this out if we

want to. For better or for worse, richer and poorer, and all that

stuff. Please, just promise me that we'll talk." Jessie looked up at

her seriously.

"I want this to work, Katie. More than anything I've ever wanted

before. I'm happy now, being with you, and I don't want that to

change. Ever. So, yes, I promise. And this time, I'm not leaving.

Ever again." And she sealed it with a kiss.

When they drew away, Katie remembered something. She looked at

Jessie's neck, for any trace of the gold necklace that she had given

her all those years ago. Jessie looked at her quizzically, then

looked down at her neck before she realized what Katie was looking

for. She smiled, and pulled it out from underneath her shirt.

The smile on Katie's face could not be described. It was huge.

Bigger than huge. It was by far the biggest smile that Katie had

ever shown. She pulled her own necklace out from under her shirt,

and together they put the halves together to make the heart, and the

word, whole.

"Forever?" Jessie asked.

"Forever." Katie confirmed.

~*~3 weeks later~*~

Jessie and Katie walked down the street through the freshly fallen

snow. Jessie took Katie's hand and looked into Katie's eyes and

tilted her head.

"Katie?"

"Hmmm?"

"What do you think tomorrow will be like?" Katie thought for a

moment.

"I don't really know" She said, as she turned to look at

Jessie. "But I do know one thing."

"What's that?" Jessie asked, and Katie grinned.

"That we" She paused for a moment and squeezed Jessie's hand. "Will

be together." Katie said seriously.

"I know something too then." Jessie said as she stopped and turned

to face Katie.

"What?"

"Then tomorrow will be a good day." And with that, she leaned up and

kissed Katie, first delicately, then with more passion. Right then

they shared one of the sweetest, yet most intense kisses ever.

As they kissed, the sun began to set and the snow began to fall,

while the rest of the world faded away, leaving them standing

together. And everything was perfect, like it should be.

The End.


End file.
